I'm Pregnant !!

So I tested out my trigger and today I got a nice positive pregnancy test, which means that I am officially pregnant!! As of today I am 3 weeks and 2 days. This is going to be a long pregnancy !!

The Dreaded TWW

     So on Friday March 15 I gave myself the trigger shot which is HCG 10,000 units. This med ensured that I would ovulate and in a timely manner since the period of ovulation after the shot is 24-48 hours. Then on Sunday the 17th, I went back to my RE to have an IUI done. Now I specifically wanted to try the IUI because we haven't had a semen analysis done on my husband.  When we first started trying we just tried like any other person would. However when you need help, most doctors want to start with eliminating possible problems. So the first they do is check the husbands sperm to make sure he has plenty of good looking and fast swimmers.  Now I feel that this is completely unfair because my husbands test was quite enjoyable and yet all my tests are quite painful and invasive. The first test they do on a woman is an HSG (hysterosalpingogram). This test will show if the Fallopian tubes are blocked or if there is anything wrong with the uterus.  This test is quite painful and super invasive but there always comes a point when trying to have a baby where you are willing to do anything to have that baby. 

     Well coming back to the IUI. We chose to have me tested and all but we didn't have my husband tested. We didn't want to assume that everything was broken because I am an optimist and that way of thinking would just break my heart. Before the IUI though they test the sperm to make sure that they are giving me only the best sperm and my husband got an excellent rating and so we will probably not do anymore IUIs. 

     So we did the trigger shot and the IUI so as of today I am either 2 or 3 days past ovulation. I now just have to wait another 14 days or so to see if I am pregnant or if I have to do this process all over again. To keep my mind off everything and to keep me busy, I have a few projects that I want to work on. 

Here is one of them
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4OjG7vSALOUCR1MMEcGZXMamxTw8wulutQ0bnj3owpdWdJ1hNLZlAec92eWlpzkQOYrX0P06XJ_llRUPGzAXeSn7YjoRNhjFaNSZYAGy3ofki-E6u6iwBkOL8ijCJ49trl9Qk9FMabt8/s1600/027.JPG

Here is the other one
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVZlqKtaNHXiaWJlafPYwD-6F2zyRwmfp510RqA72IYAE7xWiTaOGx7_nC1aZ0QUrBc7uN3cqCICYgw5tvk9jNCj9Xr3wben2rqbyyy7ircdiEt0_bHPgqFu3txPC5cibEHYWdimiAFn8/s1600/008.JPG

Pictures of my projects to come. 

Baby-making Sex

     Now I'm sure we all know how babies are made and specifically the action that needs to take place for a baby to be produced so I won't get into all that. However, when you are trying to conceive and more so when you are having trouble getting pregnant, the whole baby making process becomes more complicated and sometimes difficult. Instead of all the love and fun of sex when its purely for pleasure, baby-making sex becomes a bit clinical. You have to do on certain days- specifically the fertile days and you have to use special lubricant. Now I have always heard that no matter how and when you do it there is no pregnancy proof way of having sex. It is very true that every which way you can imagine, some woman has gotten pregnant doing it. However, when you are ready to have children and ready right now you end up trying a whole lot harder. One thing that I have struggled with and am trying so hard to overcome is to bring back the magic of fun sex. My husband and I are young and fun and there is no reason we should become robots or become boring. 

     One thing that is helping us is that this cycle we are going to try an IUI (intrauterine insemination). That means instead of stressing over timing and process we are skipping it altogether and letting the experts do their thing. Tomorrow, we will go into the office and my husband will give his contribution. The doctor will then take his sample, wash it and prepare it. Then the doctor will inject that sample directly where it is needed.  That means that everything that my husband and I do will be just for ourselves because that IUI will be exactly at the right time and so no stress for us. 

     Now even with perfect timing and all the components being present, there is still only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle. But I won't give up till I have a little one in my arms. 

    Since I am heading into the boring time (two week wait) of my cycle, I will be focusing on anything but baby-making. I have a few projects that I have been meaning to start and now is the time to do them. But all that is for another post. 

My progress so far...

     I went into my RE for an ultrasound on CD11 and after five days of of Femara 5mg and four days of  Follistim (75iu,75iu, 100iu, 150iu) here are the results: my left ovary (which is super woman and has ovulated the last four cycles) had very small, non-mature follies. My right ovary (ol' lazy may) has one beautiful 17mm and several follies that are not mature (13mm, 14mm) but may have a chance to catch up and release.

     Now my RE was a little disappointed because he wanted me to have two mature follies perhaps three but I am thrilled for my one good follie. Every once in a while he and I disagree with the best course of action but I truly love my RE. He is kind and yet so knowledgable so I trust him with him my treatment. Ultimately though I have to live with all the decisions made and so at times I will change the protocol and do something different. I also love the office staff. The receptionist is amazing and the nurses are always available and ready with an answer. If I were pressed to complain, I would have to say that I am not happy with how much information they give me. I love facts and I don't like making decisions unless I do have all the facts so when they tell me "you have a mature follie on your right ovary" I want to know how big and how big will it be after the trigger shot. I want numbers and details and they tend to give me qualitative answers instead of quantitative. But I do just fine because I push for the answers I need.

     Though I am happy for my "good" response, I did tweak the doses some to see if I could possibly get one of those smaller follies to mature and release. I was told to do 75iu on CD 7,8,9 coast ( not do any meds) on CD10 and then ultrasound on CD11. Well my meds didn't come until CD8 so I ended up doing a different protocol.

     WARNING I am not recommending that anyone change protocol/meds or go against their doctors orders. This was a choice that I made for myself after lots of consideration and thought.

     I took 75iu on CD 8 and 9 and then on CD10  I went rogue and gave myself 100iu because I thought it may boost my follies.  I was also supposed to coast on CD 11 but yet again was bad and just injected the remaining amount in my cartridge which was about 150iu.  I'm really hoping that those higher doses helped to boost my uterine lining because at my ultrasound it was only 6mm and that is not great. My RE likes to see it at a 9mm around IUI time and so with an extra dose I think I boosted that lining a little bit more.

    So after my ultrasound on Thursday, I was instructed to do my "trigger shot" of HCG on Friday which was last night. This shot really freaked me out because it was one that I actually had to mix up. So I was given a bottle of HCG powder and a bottle of bacteriostatic water. I was given instructions on how to mix the two and then administer it.  Hopefully I didn't screw it up too badly. Dang did it hurt though and today the injection site is super sore.   So this shot will finish the maturation process of the follie(s) and produce ovulation anywhere from 12 to 48 hours.

So once I ovulate than I have two weeks of waiting. An awful waiting period all to see if I'm pregnant. Ugh, here we go !!

Injections

     So as I mentioned in my first post I am doing a "combo cycle" which means that I take an oral medication for the first few days and then take a liquid drug in shot form.  Now every combo is different and tailored to the actual woman but they do follow the pattern previously mentioned. I am taking Femara 5mg from cycle day 5-9 and then Follistim 75iu 8-10 (so far). So first let me tell you about Femara. This drug is typically prescribed to post-menopausal women who have breast cancer. I know it is specifically used with tumors that are producing estrogen. Though it was created to treat cancer it works wonderfully to help women ovulate.  It awakens the ovaries and cause the follicles to grow (our eggs are housed within the follicles). So the Femara will start the process and the Follistim will finish it. Follistim is synthetic FSH (though it's identical in formulation). Think of it as "food" to nourish and grow that follicle. Now so far, I have been responding very well to the oral med alone but after four good ovulations I am still not pregnant so I chose to move on to something stronger (a combo cycle). Ok so how does it actually feel to take these meds, well like everything else there has been good and bad with taking them.  I love how many follicles I am getting and how lucky I am that I am responding to medication at all because many women do not respond and have to move straight to IVF. However, I get hot flashes, migraines, and of course injection site pain. I have done three shots so far and don't have too many complaints however it is no fun. The first shot was the hardest because I was completely freaked out about giving it to myself.  It is one thing to get a shot it is totally different to administer it yourself.  So I took a deep breathe and just did it. Surprisingly the needle didn't hurt one bit. The second shot didn't hurt either but the shot I did tonight was pretty horrible. The medicine stung like crazy and no matter how slowly I injected I could not make it any better.  I think I picked a bad spot. Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

     So the next step is an ultrasound to see how my ovaries are responding to this dose. I will be heading up to my RE tomorrow morning to see what is going on in there. Hopefully I will have a few follicles growing and be ready to trigger soon. Wish me good luck!

Why ???

Why did I start a blog and why is it all about infertility? That is exactly what my husband asked me when I told him I started a blog. Why would I want people to know what is going on with my life, well to start infertility sucks and when you are struggling to start your family you can feel very alone. In truth, I am not alone. There are so many women who struggle silently and they feel like they can't share their struggle because they are ashamed of not being to do the one thing all women should be able to do. Well I refuse to feel ashamed and I refuse to remain silent. This is too hard of a task to take on alone and so I will need support. I also want to document my journey in the hopes that some woman out there will be encouraged by it and be uplifted. That is why I am writing this blog.

My Journey to be a Mom

     So after trying for baby #1 for almost 14 months now I am scared and completely exhausted. I thought that this would be a pretty short journey but I was very wrong. See, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome/Disease) which means that my lovely ovaries make lots of follicles but is too stubborn to release them for ovulation Obviously if I am not ovulating than I have no chances of a pregnancy. When I was diagnosed at 21, I was devastated because I have dreamed about being a mother since I was a child myself. told that having children might be a little hard but absolutely possibly. "Little hard" my foot! I started January 2012 and here we are March 2013 and I'm still trying. I just feel like the road is getting longer and harder every month.

     I compare trying for a baby to a train ride. Every woman has to get on the same train named "Trying to Conceive" bound for Motherhood station. There are many stops along this road- au natural, oral meds, injectables, and of course IVF or adoption. Now most women jump on this train thinking it will be quick (i.e. me) and many women are correct au natural station is super popular. However, there are quite a few of us who need some extra help and so our train ride gets a little longer. No woman can truly know how long her trip to Motherhood will take and that is the part that truly hurts.  The longer you ride the more your hope dwindles.

     This has been the most difficult thing I have ever faced and if I don't keep believing than one day it may beat me. I am doing my best though to keep my chin up and keep trying because the prize is well worth the wait.

     So here is what I have tried so far:
January- September 2012 Au Natural
September I tried Clomid 50mg(oral med) and had a horrible response plus did not ovulate.
October 24 I decided enough was enough and went for some specialized help.  I went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who scrapped the Clomid and prescribed me Femara 2.5mg( oral med very much like Clomid but better). I did not ovulate.
November I tried Femara 5mg and did ovulate but did not get pregnant. Ugh.
December/January my RE recommended I do Femara 7.5mg and add in a "trigger shot" (Novarel/HCG). I had a great response , ovulated but still no pregnancy.
January/February I tried Femara 7.5mg and yet again I ovulated but no pregnancy.
This cycle I am pulling all stops and moving forward. I will be doing Femara 5mg and then adding Follistim 75iu(Injection/FSH). I started cd(cycle day) 5 of Femara and will take the pills until cd10. Tomorrow (cd 8) I will start the injections of Follistim and continue until they "trigger" me. For the trigger I am taking 10,000iu of Novarel and then 36 hours later I will be doing an IUI (intrauterine insemination).

I am praying every day that one day God will allow me to be a mother.