My Journey to be a Mom

     So after trying for baby #1 for almost 14 months now I am scared and completely exhausted. I thought that this would be a pretty short journey but I was very wrong. See, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome/Disease) which means that my lovely ovaries make lots of follicles but is too stubborn to release them for ovulation Obviously if I am not ovulating than I have no chances of a pregnancy. When I was diagnosed at 21, I was devastated because I have dreamed about being a mother since I was a child myself. told that having children might be a little hard but absolutely possibly. "Little hard" my foot! I started January 2012 and here we are March 2013 and I'm still trying. I just feel like the road is getting longer and harder every month.

     I compare trying for a baby to a train ride. Every woman has to get on the same train named "Trying to Conceive" bound for Motherhood station. There are many stops along this road- au natural, oral meds, injectables, and of course IVF or adoption. Now most women jump on this train thinking it will be quick (i.e. me) and many women are correct au natural station is super popular. However, there are quite a few of us who need some extra help and so our train ride gets a little longer. No woman can truly know how long her trip to Motherhood will take and that is the part that truly hurts.  The longer you ride the more your hope dwindles.

     This has been the most difficult thing I have ever faced and if I don't keep believing than one day it may beat me. I am doing my best though to keep my chin up and keep trying because the prize is well worth the wait.

     So here is what I have tried so far:
January- September 2012 Au Natural
September I tried Clomid 50mg(oral med) and had a horrible response plus did not ovulate.
October 24 I decided enough was enough and went for some specialized help.  I went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who scrapped the Clomid and prescribed me Femara 2.5mg( oral med very much like Clomid but better). I did not ovulate.
November I tried Femara 5mg and did ovulate but did not get pregnant. Ugh.
December/January my RE recommended I do Femara 7.5mg and add in a "trigger shot" (Novarel/HCG). I had a great response , ovulated but still no pregnancy.
January/February I tried Femara 7.5mg and yet again I ovulated but no pregnancy.
This cycle I am pulling all stops and moving forward. I will be doing Femara 5mg and then adding Follistim 75iu(Injection/FSH). I started cd(cycle day) 5 of Femara and will take the pills until cd10. Tomorrow (cd 8) I will start the injections of Follistim and continue until they "trigger" me. For the trigger I am taking 10,000iu of Novarel and then 36 hours later I will be doing an IUI (intrauterine insemination).

I am praying every day that one day God will allow me to be a mother.